When I found out I was pregnant with Matteo at 18, I remember standing in my childhood bedroom in New Jersey and feeling like my entire future had collapsed in a single moment. I had just graduated high school. I had planned to go to college. I had imagined what my dorm room would look like, what clubs I would join, what late-night conversations I would have with new friends. All of that suddenly felt impossible. I wasn’t upset about becoming a mother — I loved Matteo before I ever even held him — but I was devastated by the thought that I would never get the college experience I had worked toward my whole life. I thought I would have to choose between being a good mom and being a student, and deep down I feared that the student part had already lost. When Matteo was born, I poured everything I had into caring for him. That was my main focus, and I honestly didn’t think about college for a while. But after he turned one, something shifted. I started taking classes part-time at my local community college, and I was surprised by how much I loved being back in a classroom. I felt like I could do this. I eventually became a full-time student, earned my associate degree, and transferred to a large university in New Jersey. That was when the reality of being a young single parent really hit me. I was commuting, working, paying bills, trying to keep up with schoolwork, and raising a small child. No one at the university was helping me figure out how to do all of it. I had no childcare that I could trust, no one to lean on, no one who seemed to understand that my responsibilities didn’t end when class was dismissed. I loved learning, but I couldn’t keep up with everything on my own. So eventually, I stopped attending school. I told myself I would come back later, but honestly, I didn’t know if I ever would. I went back to just working and supporting Matteo, and I buried the dream of college as deep as I could.
Then one night, I found something that changed everything. I was scrolling on TikTok, not expecting anything meaningful, and I came across a video about Wilson College’s Single Parent Scholar program. It was exactly what I never knew I needed. The program helps single parents earn bachelor’s degrees by providing free on-campus housing, childcare assistance, and a supportive residential community. I remember sitting there with my phone in my hand, completely amazed. There was a college where I could actually live on campus with my son. Better yet, I could bring our cat. That part made me laugh because it felt so impossible, so much more than I would have ever dared to ask for. At first, it felt too good to be true. I read every word on the website. I called people, asked questions, applied, and held my breath. When I got in, I didn’t let myself hesitate. Before I knew it, I was packing our things, saying goodbye to our family back home in New Jersey, and heading to Pennsylvania with Matteo and our cat in the car. I was terrified and excited at the same time. I wondered if I was making a huge mistake. But I also knew that this was the chance I had been waiting for. I genuinely cannot say enough good things about Wilson College and its SPS program. The entire living situation is designed with parents and their children in mind. We are housed with other single parents, and our kids have their own playroom right in our dorm. The school hosts little events specifically for our children, like easter egg hunts, and even the campus café has kid-friendly options like smiley fries. It felt like the first time in my life that someone had looked at my situation and said, “You belong here, and we are going to make it work.”
My professors at Wilson are also incredibly understanding. They know that we are single parents and that we have responsibilities beyond the classroom. I have had days where I had absolutely no other option but to bring Matteo to class with me, and my professors have always been accommodating to that. They didn’t make me feel like a burden. They didn’t make me feel like I was breaking the rules. They just opened the door, smiled at my son, and continued the lesson. That simple kindness has made all the difference. One of the best parts of the program, though, is the community. We are surrounded by other moms and children who are going through the exact same things we are going through. We help each other with childcare, with cooking, with sick days, with everything. Sometimes we watch each other’s kids just so someone can have a child-free break. I have learned that you can’t pour from an empty cup, and living here has taught me that it’s okay to ask for help. Matteo is now 6, and while the college has been amazing, managing my time is still a big challenge. I constantly feel like I’m choosing between cooking, schoolwork, shopping, cleaning, taking care of myself, and actually spending quality time with my son. But living with other moms makes things so much easier. We are all in the same boat, so we understand when someone needs a little extra help. You always hear the saying “it takes a village,” and here, we have really found ours. I’m in my senior year now, and I share my dorm room with Matteo. We have made ourselves a pretty comfortable little home. We filled the space with our favorite things, and I made sure Matteo has had the freedom to decorate his room however he wants. We even have a dorm-sized couch where we love watching scary movies together. It didn’t all come together overnight, but little by little, we made the space our own. Matteo doesn’t see the dorm as any different from an apartment. It’s our home, and that’s exactly how I wanted it to feel.
Our mornings usually start with Matteo and me waking up and getting ready for school together. We have breakfast with my best friend and her son, which is such a nice way to start the day. I love that my son has friends his age right down the hall, and that I have a friend who is going through the same ups and downs. After breakfast, I send Matteo off on the school bus, and I head to my classes, to work, or to my internship. At the end of his school day, he comes back home on the bus, and I always try to be there to meet him. Dinner looks a little different depending on the day. Sometimes we eat in the dining hall or grab something from the café, but my favorite nights are when we eat at home. We call it “family dinner.” That is when my little family and my two roommates’ families all sit down and eat together. Usually, one of us moms cooks for everyone, and we all pitch in to clean up afterward. It has become such a normal part of our lives that I sometimes forget how special our little arrangement really is. After dinner, the dorm basically becomes the kids’ playground. They are constantly running from room to room, playing in the playroom, and finding new ways to entertain themselves. I love that Matteo gets to come home from school every day and have his best friends right down the hall. He doesn’t have to ask for a playdate or wait until the weekend to see them. By the end of the night, all the kids usually go to bed around the same time, and most nights, the moms aren’t too far behind. Our days can definitely be chaotic. There is always someone crying, someone laughing, someone running, someone needing homework help. But there is also something really special about raising our kids alongside one another. It is not what I ever imagined my college experience would look like, but I love that this is what our everyday life has become.
I really hope other moms see our story and realize that having a child doesn’t mean they have to give up on their goals. I genuinely thought my opportunity to go to college was gone when I became pregnant. I spent years believing that I had missed my window, that the life I had planned for myself was just not going to happen. And now I am about to graduate with my bachelor’s degree and pursue a graduate program. I also want colleges and universities to see our story. I am actually doing research on parents in higher education, and one thing I have learned is that student parents make up a much larger portion of the undergraduate population than most people probably realize. According to the U.S. Government Accountability Office, about 1 in 5 U.S. undergraduates — roughly 4.3 million students — were parents in 2015-16. Yet their needs are so often overlooked. College campuses aren’t built for families. Housing isn’t designed for kids. Childcare isn’t included. Professors don’t always understand why a student might need to bring their child to class or leave early because their kid is sick. So many student parents quietly fall away, not because they aren’t capable, but because the system doesn’t support them. I want other institutions to see that programs like Wilson’s are possible and that they make an enormous difference. It doesn’t take a miracle to help a parent earn a degree. It takes affordable housing, childcare assistance, flexible policies, and a little bit of understanding. That’s it. I also want other moms to know that we can advocate for ourselves. We shouldn’t have to feel like we are asking for too much by wanting an education and the support to make it possible. We deserve to be there just as much as anyone else. I truly believe that if more institutions started listening to student parents and understanding what we actually need, we would see a lot more success stories. We aren’t asking for special treatment. We are asking for a fair chance.
I went from thinking I would never get to experience college to living on a college campus with my son. I am now an honors student with a 3.9 GPA, and I am starting the process of applying to graduate schools. Most of all, I got to do all of this with my son by my side. He has grown up on this campus. He has made friends in the hallways, eaten smiley fries in the café, and fallen asleep in the same dorm room where I have pulled all-nighters and written papers. I hope to pursue a Ph.D. in psychology and continue advocating for student parents in higher education. I have really fallen in love with research, and I would love to use it to bring attention to issues that are often ignored. More than anything, I just want Matteo and me to have a happy life together and keep experiencing new things. I hope that when he gets older, he looks back on all of this and realizes that having him never stopped me from pursuing my dreams. It wasn’t always easy. It still isn’t. But he has been along for the entire adventure, and that makes every hard day worth it.
