Look, football in early September is like a lie detector test, except the machine is slightly broken. Week 2 of the NFL season gave us a little bit of everything: quarterback injuries, a suddenly interesting Los Angeles Rams team, and plenty of proof that last week’s power rankings were worthless. Colin Cowherd, with his usual mix of confidence and exasperation, blew up his Herd Hierarchy and produced a new top ten that includes five brand-new teams and a brand-new No. 1. It’s the kind of list that makes you want to argue, and that’s sort of the point. He starts at No. 10 with the Detroit Lions, a team he plainly enjoys but doesn’t fully trust. They’ve scored 30-plus points in both games and allowed 30-plus points in both games, which essentially means every Lions game is a roller coaster. Jared Goff has been remarkably efficient, with six touchdowns and no interceptions, the only quarterback in the entire league with that stat line. The Lions are second in offensive big plays, but they’re also last in big plays allowed. Cowherd loves the general manager, loves the coach, and loves the firepower, but outside of Aidan Hutchinson, he’s not sure who else to trust on defense. It’s the same annual complaint: they’re banged up defensively and impossible to trust with a lead. But this is an offensive league, and Detroit can score with anyone. At No. 9, the New Orleans Saints are quietly becoming Cowherd’s favorite sleeper. They went into Baltimore and outscored the Ravens 15-0 in the fourth quarter, which is something people simply don’t do in that building. Their quarterback Tyler Shough has size and sneaky athleticism, and he’s found a genuine connection with Chris Olave. On the road this season, in the fourth quarter and overtime, he’s completing 78 percent of his passes. The Saints have a real roster. Cowherd picked them to win their division in the preseason, and after seeing them dominate the second half against both Detroit and Baltimore, he’s starting to look smarter every week.
Moving from the Saints to the Patriots requires a shift in tone. At No. 8, the New England Patriots are not flashy, but they are solid. They are 14-2 in their last 16 games, which is the kind of sustained run people ignore because the Patriots don’t have a superstar quarterback. Drake Maye has been uneven, and they are missing A.J. Brown, but when Christian Gonzalez is healthy, this is an excellent defense. The Patriots are one of seven teams in the league that have allowed 300 or fewer yards in the first two weeks. They held the Steelers to 3.5 yards per play, which is not just good, it’s suffocating. Cowherd still thinks their offensive line is average, or as he put it, mid. But the coaching, the culture, the defensive front, and an elite secondary make them a team nobody wants to play. They’re not going to light up the scoreboard, but they don’t have to. At No. 7, the Los Angeles Rams are a different kind of problem. Cowherd admits they are better than seven, but they are not dialed in. They don’t have Myles Garrett, they don’t have Puka Nacua, and Matthew Stafford looked lucky at times last night. Davante Adams made some insane catches, and the whole thing feels like Noah’s Ark: two of everything Cowherd likes, but not enough certainty. Three tight ends, two defensive interior linemen, a couple of edge rushers, two good running backs—the pieces are there, but the execution isn’t. Stafford is not going to give you a ton of wiggle, and the Rams are currently playing with fumbles, interceptions, and penalties. They are better than their current ranking, but Cowherd isn’t going to pretend they are a polished product. It’s a patient placement, a “we know what you can be, but show us” kind of ranking.
The Philadelphia Eagles at No. 6 are the definition of winning ugly. Cowherd calls them a three-and-out factory, which is not exactly a compliment, but it comes with a caveat: in September over the last five years, the Eagles are 14-2. Nobody wins ugly like Philadelphia. They don’t look great, they don’t always feel great, but they find ways to leave with wins. Dontayvion Wicks and DeVonta Smith have formed a legitimate receiving tandem, and rookie Makai Lemon hasn’t done anything yet because he hasn’t needed to. Still, the offense isn’t clicking. They’re 14th in scoring and 14th in yards per play, and Cowherd is honest enough to say he can like Jalen Hurts while also thinking Hurts sometimes holds the team back. That’s the sort of nuanced, uncomfortable truth that usually gets people shouted at on social media, but it’s also a fair observation. The Bengals, at No. 5, are the team Cowherd wants you to watch closely. Cincinnati spent big on defense in the offseason because they had the worst run defense in the league. Well, in Cowherd’s words, it’s not anymore. The Bengals look different. They are forcing turnovers, playing with a physical defensive front, and they didn’t even play well against the Texans—yet they dominated them. They held Houston’s running backs to 18 yards on 14 carries, which is about as dominant as it gets. Cincinnati has solved a big dilemma. Cowherd thought they would be one of the most improved teams in the NFL, and through two weeks, they are. The best part is they might still have another gear, which is why he seems genuinely energized by them.
The Kansas City Chiefs are sitting at No. 4, and Cowherd’s main worry is Josh Simmons. But the bigger story is Travis Kelce looking 26 years old again. It’s remarkable what happens when you have a legitimate running game: defenses can’t cheat. They can’t roll safeties toward Kelce, can’t send extra help to Rashee Rice, and suddenly Rice looks like a great deep threat and Kelce is wide open across the middle. Patrick Mahomes looks spry, which is a terrifying word to use for someone who already owns multiple Super Bowl rings. The Chiefs are allowing just 4.5 yards per play, and Cowherd thinks this might be Andy Reid’s best defense in Kansas City, at least by that measure. They are 2-0 and still improving, which should scare the rest of the AFC. The San Francisco 49ers at No. 3 are harder to judge. All the old guys are healthy, and Miami is going to make everyone’s data look great. Brock Purdy is playing with leads, barely getting hit, and hasn’t been sacked. It’s like watching a dominant college team in September: the quarterback hasn’t even been pressured. The Niners have 11 incomplete passes and 10 scoring drives, which means they’re scoring basically whenever they touch the ball. When healthy, Christian McCaffrey, George Kittle, Trent Williams, Fred Warner, and Nick Bosa form a Hall of Fame core. Their top end is unquestioned. The question is whether they will still be available on Thanksgiving. That’s the thing about the 49ers: they are always talented, but their season always seems to depend on the medical report. Cowherd is not criticizing their performance. He’s just waiting for the other shoe to drop. In the NFL, health is just as important as talent, and San Francisco tests that theory every single year.
At No. 2, the Buffalo Bills have found something that works. Having an offensive head coach with Josh Allen has been pivotal. Dalton Kincaid leads all tight ends in receiving yards, and the defense has looked good enough after years of investing draft picks into that side of the ball. Cowherd believes most quarterbacks are simply better when their head coach is an offensive guy. It doesn’t mean you can’t win a Super Bowl with a defensive head coach—Seattle did it—but for Allen, this feels like the right structure. The Bills face the Los Angeles Chargers this week, and Cowherd’s message is basically good luck to Los Angeles. He’s that confident in Buffalo right now. And at No. 1, the Seattle Seahawks. Only Seattle can go to a backup quarterback—a backup most of us don’t even love—and still throttle teams. Cowherd says he doesn’t know what their weakness is. They’re even good on special teams. They lose a running back and still have a great run game. They lose a top corner, and then another one, and they still have good corners. Jaxon Smith-Njigba is 40 percent of their offense, which is a little scary because they are very JSN-dependent. He has four of their five total touchdowns this year. But the Seahawks are only allowing 3.8 yards per play, and to Cowherd, they are the fastest defense sideline to sideline in the NFL. Sam Darnold gives them an athletic energy they didn’t have with Drew Lock. Right now, Seattle has no obvious cracks. That’s why they’re No. 1.
The Herd Hierarchy isn’t a scientific power ranking. It’s a feel-based, reaction-heavy, argument-baiting snapshot of the NFL as it looks on a Sunday night. This week, the biggest takeaway is that Week 2 reset everything. Five new teams entered the rankings, and the Los Angeles Rams are back, even if they’re unpolished. The Bengals have fixed their run defense, the Patriots are quietly excellent, the Saints are for real, and the Lions are endlessly entertaining but impossible to trust with a lead. The Eagles are winning ugly, the Chiefs are clicking, the 49ers are healthy for now, and the Bills are giving their star quarterback the offensive structure he needed. Cowherd’s rankings are a reminder that narratives shift fast in the NFL. Seattle at No. 1 feels bold, but the Seahawks are doing what good teams do early in the season: winning in different ways, overcoming injuries, and dominating all three phases. Quarterback injuries are a major storyline across the league, but Week 2 proved that depth, coaching, and defensive speed matter just as much. If you want an early roadmap for the season, don’t just look at records. Look at the teams in Cowherd’s top ten and ask yourself whether they are built for January or just for September. The Rams are better than seven, the Lions are more dangerous than their defense suggests, and the Seahawks might be the most complete team in football right now. In a league where everything changes by Monday morning, that’s the most human truth of all. The rankings will change again next week. They always do. But for now, this is where the NFL stands: chaotic, entertaining, and full of teams that look like contenders until they don’t. That’s why we watch.
