The Surprising Appeal of Santa: Exploring the Phenomenon of “Santaphiles”

He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake – and for some adults, that omniscient quality of Santa Claus is part of what makes him so irresistibly attractive. Self-described “Santaphiles” – adults who have romantic or sexual feelings toward the jolly Christmas icon – represent a fascinating and little-studied phenomenon that emerges more visibly during the holiday season. While some might find the concept unusual, those who experience this attraction describe a complex mix of appeal factors that go beyond the red suit and white beard. From the comforting paternal presence to the gift-giving generosity, the Santa archetype embodies qualities many people seek in romantic partners, creating an unexpected intersection between holiday tradition and adult desire.

The appeal of Santa often begins innocently enough, sometimes rooted in childhood experiences that evolve into more mature attractions. Twenty-five-year-old content creator Kassidie Kosa traces her Santa fascination back to watching Tim Allen in “The Santa Clause” movies as a child. For her, the combination of a nice beard, gift-giving nature, and “next level dad bod” creates an irresistible package. “I don’t care if they have abs. Give me the pudge,” she explains candidly. As she’s gotten older, her preference has shifted toward increasingly mature men, drawn to the silver hair and authoritative presence Santa represents. Similarly, Melissa Rosen, a 47-year-old business consultant, pinpoints her attraction beginning at age 16 when she spotted an off-duty mall Santa having a cigarette and beer during his break. That glimpse of the man behind the character sparked her curiosity about “Santa off-duty,” initiating what would become a long-standing crush. Her preference leans toward a younger version of Santa – bearded and burly, but not excessively rotund – embodying a masculine archetype that combines strength with nurturing qualities.

The psychological underpinnings of Santa attraction reveal interesting insights about human desire. Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, suggests that Santa’s role as a judge of behavior – determining who’s been “naughty or nice” – creates a natural connection to power dynamics that some find appealing. “Some people might be turned on by this because they find Santa to be a character who lends himself well to BDSM role play,” Lehmiller explains. “After all, Santa is someone who tells you if you’ve been good or bad and doles out reward and punishment.” Beyond these elements, Rosen observes through her work as CEO of a matchmaking company that when clients describe their ideal partner, they’re often “just describing Santa” without realizing it. The qualities that define Santa – generosity, jolliness, warmth, and unconditional acceptance – align closely with traits many people seek in romantic relationships. This suggests that the Santa attraction may represent, at least for some, an idealized version of companionship wrapped in seasonal imagery.

The contemporary manifestation of this attraction has found expression in various ways, from playful flirtations during mall Santa visits to more explicit interest in Santa-themed adult content. Melissa Rosen admits she used to make annual trips with friends to “sit on Santa’s lap,” though she keeps things more appropriate now as a single mother. During a recent visit, she playfully whispered “You” when Santa asked what she wanted for Christmas, resulting in a good-natured laugh between them. For Amanda DiChiara, a 35-year-old hair stylist from New Jersey, the attraction began when she was 12 and centers on how Santa embodies the “spirit of Christmas” – representing something both festive and spiritual. “Having that big, fat man take care of you… I don’t know how else to say it,” she explains, highlighting the nurturing aspect of the Santa archetype. The internet has also provided spaces for this interest to flourish – Pornhub reports that searches for “Santa” increase by 203% during the holiday season, with related terms showing similar seasonal spikes.

Those who professionally don the red suit are often aware of the adult appeal they sometimes generate. Paul Mason, a 61-year-old former NYC model who markets himself as “Fashion Santa,” has capitalized on his sophisticated take on the character since 2014, when his naturally whitening beard began taking on a Kringle-like appearance. While maintaining a family-friendly image, he acknowledges the “cheeky” appeal of his stylish interpretation of Santa. “It’s coming across with a little sophistication, with maybe a little bit of sexiness to it,” Mason notes. “I think people love that idea… I don’t see anything offensive with it, so why not?” His comfortable attitude toward being seen as attractive reflects a more modern, nuanced understanding of the Santa character – one that can simultaneously exist as a magical figure for children and as someone adults might find appealing for entirely different reasons.

Despite the obvious seasonal interest, Santaphilia remains largely unstudied from a scientific perspective. Dr. Lehmiller acknowledges that “the true prevalence of Santa kinks is unknown” due to limited research on the topic. What we do know comes primarily from internet search data and the personal testimonies of those who experience this attraction. Some, like Kosa, are refreshingly self-aware about their interest, acknowledging with humor that she “totally has daddy issues.” Others, like DiChiara, recognize that some might find her attraction “weird” but emphasize the emotional and spiritual components that draw her to the Santa figure. What emerges from these accounts is a picture of a complex attraction that blends nostalgia, comfort, power dynamics, and idealized nurturing qualities – all wrapped up in the instantly recognizable imagery of Christmas. Whether seen as an innocent seasonal crush or a more explicit interest, the phenomenon of Santa attraction reveals how holiday symbols can take on unexpectedly mature dimensions while maintaining their connection to the warmth and magic of the season.