FOPO: The Fear of People’s Opinions
The article on “FOPO” (Fear of People’s Opinions) delves into a concept that many face daily, framing it as a significant stressor. Created by psychologist Michael Gervais, FOPO is a hidden and relatable stress aggravator that arises when individuals feel the need to feel what others think of them, whether it be admiration, approval, or distrust. This concept is rooted in an underlying fear and readiness to avoid conflict, as described by Gervais.
Gervais explains that FOPO is best understood as an anticipatory mechanism that individuals perceive, using memory and expectations to anticipate the likes of what others might have to say about them. It is a preemptive process that creates an acceptance of their own un thumbnails, fearing rejection. This fear can cloud judgment, inhibit creativity, and hinder personal development, creating a cycle that is merely a waste of time (Gervais, 2022).
One of the defining characteristics of FOPO is that it is not an end in itself but a dynamic process that alters how individuals handle interpersonal relationships and their impact on society. Social media, while convenient for feeling validated, exacerbates this problem by creating unnecessary pang of approval and dehumanizing acceptance (Aparna Sagaram, 2023). Gervais reminds readers that FOPO reflects a fundamental struggle with self-worth and whether one stands out in the competition, rather than simply being perceived by others.
The article provides several examples of behaviors manifesting under FOPO, such as pretending to be in a movie, pretending to enjoy a casual evening at the café, and shying away from a crucial meeting due to enthusiasm. These behaviors lie on the spectrum from personifying others to mentally constructing a fantasy of being real. Sagaram highlights that truly embracing FOPO leads to burnout and missteps, as feelings of self-doubt and mistrust sour progress toward growth.
In 2022, Gervais shared insights on how to combat FOPO by reframing our mindset. He argues that FOPO is not a “fix” but a mistake. Humans are entangled in the societal boat of people, each being a part of the existing narrative, whether correctly or not. Thus, the process of adopting FOPO is not avoiding the edge but encapsulating the current structure, ultimately leading to a more complicated situation than it begins.
