Dear Abby,
I’ve sat over here thinking about my pregnancy for a few weeks, and I’ve been admit very excited, embracing the fact that I’m finally making this journey, even though it’s still quite a ways off for me. It’s been such a shock, but now I’m accepting that I’m emotionally ready to move on, to embrace the next phase of my life. I’ve been waiting a long time for this moment to take order, and even though I know I might have to step back for a little while, I’m choosing to go forward tentatively this hoping to have a big baby in the right time for my family.
I’ve been learning to be more myself and coming in contact with my partner every once and there, which has made me realize how much I really value what we both have and what we can offer each other. We’ve been on space where we’ve talked about how we want to balance things now, how to support each other through all these changes, and it’s been a lovely journey just around the corner.
I thought it would be good to speak a bit more about this because I have different feelings about being in this situation than I ever might have thought. I don’t see myself here as a baby yet, or as the one carrying it or guiding it into my life, but for now, I feel like I have to take a step that feels temporary. I just hope that this is the first step in a direction that deals with fire that I’m queued to take on in the future.
I’ve never really felt this way about moving out, but now I’ve thought about it more. I know I don’t really want to go home, but also I can’t wait to have a baby, because I think the most exciting part of being a parent is seeing the world shift and feel. It’s a privilege to be so close to people and to care for the little ones, but I also understand that everything is changing, too. I can’t wait for all of you to grow up and try to help you, but I think of myself as being okay with that.
I think of myself as a new parent where I can play and share, pass out, and take care of things, and I know I can balance the coworkers in the house so they don’t feel like they need to carry all the weight. I’m pacing myself and mostly focusing on just today, just the husband myself. Finally, I value heart being with the baby, and that’s something I can’t wait to get into, knowing that both of us will love the experience, but again, I know it will take time.
I don’t know what I’ll be doing a year or a fifty-one years from now, but I know I’ve started on a long road together, and I’m committed to this. I’ve always wanted to have a kids at some point, and this hasn’t been easy, but for now, I’m feeling like I can take things one step at a time.
I do wish we had a home in a different corner of the world, but I have other plans too. I know I can look for places to live where I’d feel safe, and I’ll make decisions about future housing that feel right for me.
I also realize that I have to reconcile my feelings towards my partner, as these are some of the reasons we have this quarter. I’ve been thinking so much about how important it is to work through any hesitations that might arise, and I’m sure that we both know the complexity of our relationship. But whenever possible, I try to set us up with plans that seem shared and helpful.
Having a baby will be an extremely exciting time ahead, and I’ll continue to make sure that every step I take is aimed at giving what I know I’ve been here to receive, to love, to thrive. I realize that some challenges might come with this journey, but I’m hopeful that they’ll be for the best and that we’ll all find common ground in the future.
I’ve spent these last few weeks really reflecting on everything I’ve been through, and I know I’m not holding back anymore. I’m not looking for any solutions to the past, just to move forward with peace and confidence. I make a guarantee that I won’t shed any tears or really hope for anything impossible, because I know that every challenge is worth it.
I’m also paying close attention to my own concerns and understanding the uncertainty of being a parent, which has been things. I don’t need to keep thinking about it, but I do need to have some clarity on what I’m comfortable with.
I think of myself as the patient, and I come to this place, and I’m offering what I’ve been waiting to receive, wanting a baby too. I’m choosing to move forward without fear and without hesitation, even though the future is still very far yet here.
In the end, I don’t have to wait a minute, because the flash I’m about to see, whether viable or not, is strong. The hope I have here is that in a few more difficult days, a baby will come to my life, and I’ll feel the weight that I’ve started, but I know that only a baby will be able to come from a life of uncertainty. I need to trust that and stop chasing my idealism, which is impossible since I’m too young to know everything, future is too full to know.
But I also trust myself and the countless people who believe in us. I’m proud of what we have and of each other, but I take each day as the beginning of a different universe. I’ll continue to love and protect my partner and this family, no matter where future leads us.
