Few things in life are as agonizing to watch from the outside as two people who cannot decide whether they are together, apart, or somewhere in between. It is even harder when you actually love both of them, because you can see the damage from a distance long before they can see it themselves. That is exactly where Craig Conover finds himself with Austen Kroll and Salley Carson. On the Tuesday, October 13, episode of Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen, Craig did not hold back when asked about the pair’s ambiguous relationship. “Look, I love both of them. I don’t think it’s healthy what they’re doing,” he said. Craig explained that while he was away filming the upcoming sixth season of Peacock’s The Traitors in Scotland, “a lot happened” and when he came back, Austen and Salley seemed “almost regressing.” That is a striking word. Regressing does not just mean staying in one place; it means moving backward, undoing progress, slipping into old habits. Craig elaborated with a diagnosis that anyone who has ever watched a friend stumble through an undefined situationship will recognize: “I don’t think it’s a sustainable relationship. I think they are hindering each other from moving forward, and it’s almost like this safety net that they have.” The image of a safety net is powerful. A safety net is useful if you are about to fall. But if you choose to live in it, it stops being protection and becomes a hammock—a comfortable place to avoid the scary work of actually living. When someone you care about is stuck in that kind of loop, you want to shake them. You want to ask why they keep choosing confusion over clarity. Craig, at least, had the courage to say it out loud, even if it was not what Austen and Salley probably wanted to hear. It is the kind of tough love that comes from knowing someone long enough to watch their patterns repeat, and it is exactly the kind of honesty that reality TV friendship should be built on.
Craig did not stop at diagnosis. He went on to explain why the situation is so troubling, and his logic was hard to argue with. “If they try to date other people, no one’s gonna be OK with their relationship now, and so they have to figure that out,” he said. This is the part that often gets overlooked in situationships. It is not just about the two people involved; it is about the shadow their undefined relationship casts over everything else. If Austen starts seeing someone new, will that person feel comfortable with Salley still in the picture, still giddy, still hanging around? If Salley tries to move on, will Austen suddenly realize what he is missing? The answer, as Craig suggests, is probably not. “Either date or don’t date,” he said, “but this middle-ground thing is, I think, not healthy.” It is blunt, but it is also exactly what a good friend should say. Craig is not being cruel. He is not trying to drive them apart. He is saying the quiet part out loud: this ambiguity is not romantic; it is risky. It keeps both of them tethered to each other in a way that makes real connection almost impossible. The human brain craves clarity. Even bad news is easier to process than a dangling maybe. And in this case, the maybe has gone on long enough that it has started to feel permanent. Craig’s words are a reminder that staying in a confusing relationship is not a neutral choice. It is an active decision to put your own future on hold. It also makes it harder for either of them to heal from whatever they are actually running from. A safety net can be a person, a habit, or a story you tell yourself about why you cannot move forward. Craig sees all of it, and he is worried because he knows that the longer they linger in this gray space, the harder it will be for them to ever find solid ground.
To understand how Austen and Salley got here, you have to look back at Southern Charm season 11. Austen had just gone through a split from Audrey Pratt, and Salley entered the picture. The two got close quickly, and their chemistry became a major topic of conversation. Salley, for her part, was refreshingly upfront about her feelings. At one point, she admitted on the show that she wanted “Austen’s fing d,” a moment that instantly became a fan favorite for its sheer honesty. She doubled down in February on the Not Skinny But Not Fat podcast. “I was just being honest. Can you blame a girl?” she said. “Yeah. I’m still feeling him. I get giddy when I talk about him.” There is something undeniably charming about that kind of candor. In a world where reality stars often speak in carefully managed PR language, Salley just says what she feels. But her openness also created an imbalance. She was all in, or at least she was saying she was. Austen, on the other hand, seemed to be holding something back. That mismatch is the engine of almost every messy relationship: one person wants an answer and the other wants time. Both are valid desires. The problem is that they are fundamentally incompatible. And when those desires collide in a friend group, with cameras rolling, the result is exactly the kind of emotional limbo Craig is describing. It is also worth remembering that Austen was newly single, and that matters. Coming out of a real relationship leaves a person raw, cautious, and often unable to offer anyone the kind of certainty they crave. But it does not change the fact that Salley was there, feeling what she felt, and hoping for something more. Her willingness to be vulnerable was real, even if Austen was not ready to meet her there.
Austen’s side of the story has been consistent, at least in public. In March, he appeared on Watch What Happens Live and made it clear that things between him and Salley were not as serious as she seemed to be implying. “Salley and I are close, and she knows that when we got back from Mexico, it was like, ‘Hey, I’m still newly single and I need time,’ and it’s still kind of like that,” he explained. “We’re just really good friends, to be totally honest.” Then came the part that probably stung a little. “Salley is obviously, like… she has done lots of interviews, making it seem like we’re actively hot and heavy, and it’s just not true.” Ouch. There is a lot to unpack in that statement. On one hand, Austen is allowed to set boundaries and ask for space. No one should be rushed into something new just because someone else has strong feelings. On the other hand, saying “we’re just really good friends” while continuing to be emotionally close to a woman who has publicly declared she wants you is, to put it mildly, a complicated move. It is possible to need time and also be unintentionally stringing someone along. It is possible to care about someone and still be using their affection as a comfort blanket. Austen might genuinely believe he is being clear. But clarity requires more than saying the words; it requires acting on them. And from the outside, the actions and the words have not quite matched up. Maybe Austen does not realize how his behavior looks. Maybe he thinks that as long as he is honest in interviews, he is off the hook. But relationships are not lived in interviews. They are lived in late-night phone calls, in inside jokes, in the way you show up for someone. If the message and the messenger keep contradicting each other, the person on the receiving end is going to get hurt.
Earlier this month, Austen and Salley gave Us an exclusive update, and it sounded like they had at least started listening to the people around them. They admitted that they set some “boundaries” at the start of season 12. Salley said, “I like where we are. We have a lot of fun together.” When asked about other people’s opinions, she was characteristically defiant: “Who cares what they think? F*** ’em.” There is something empowering about that attitude. At a certain point, you have to trust your own judgment and stop letting the world weigh in on your private life. But it is also worth noting that “boundaries” is a word people often use when they are trying to convince themselves that a situation they cannot quite explain is actually fine. Boundaries can mean “we agreed to stop kissing” or “we agreed not to text after midnight.” But they can also mean “we agreed to keep doing the same thing without calling it what it is.” Craig’s concern suggests that he sees the latter. He loves both of them. He wants them to be happy. And from his perspective, they are not going to find happiness in this holding pattern. They are using each other as a safety net, and the longer they do it, the harder it will be to break free. Salley might say she does not care what people think, and that is a healthy instinct up to a point. But the people who love you are often the ones who can see what you cannot. Their concern is not judgment; it is care. And when someone like Craig, who knows both of them well, speaks up, it is worth listening to—even if the truth is uncomfortable. It is also possible that these boundaries are exactly what they need, and Craig is reacting to patterns he has seen before because he has been away. But his instinct comes from a place of genuine affection, not gossip.
At the end of the day, Austen and Salley are the only ones who can decide what their relationship is supposed to be. Craig can give his opinion, fans can speculate, and the internet can weigh in—but the two of them have to live it. Southern Charm season 12 premieres Thursday, November 12, at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo, with new episodes streaming the next day on Peacock. That means viewers will get to see exactly how these boundaries are working in practice. Will Austen and Salley finally commit to something real, whether that is a romantic relationship or an actual friendship? Will they continue to circle each other in that gray area that Craig finds so concerning? Or will one of them meet someone else and force the issue? Whatever happens, Craig’s words have already set the terms of the conversation. “Either date or don’t date” is the kind of simple, brutal advice that only a true friend can give. Relationships are messy. People are complicated. Emotional safety nets are comfortable. But as Craig pointed out, comfort is not the same as health. The middle ground might feel safe, but it is also a trap—a place where feelings go to stay the same instead of growing. Austen and Salley have to figure out what they really want. And eventually, they have to be brave enough to act on it. In the meantime, the rest of us will be watching, hoping that two people who clearly care about each other find a way to stop regressing and start living. The new season will give them the chance to prove that they have learned something, or to repeat the same patterns. Either way, it will be impossible to look away.
