Harmony at the Holiday Table: How Americans Are Finding Peace Amidst Political Divisions
As families across America prepare to gather for Thanksgiving, roasting turkeys and mixing stuffing, a quiet but significant shift is taking place in homes nationwide. The traditional feast, with its cornucopia of comfort foods and familial closeness, is increasingly accompanied by an unspoken agreement: politics will stay off the menu. Recent surveys reveal that 58% of Americans plan to actively avoid political discussions during their holiday gatherings this season, suggesting a collective exhaustion with the divisiveness that has characterized recent years. For nearly a quarter of Americans (24%), political and personal discussions represent the most stressful aspect of Thanksgiving, outranking even the pressure of cooking the perfect meal or navigating family dynamics.
This trend toward political avoidance doesn’t necessarily indicate apathy or disengagement. Rather, it reflects a conscious choice to prioritize harmony over debate during a time traditionally dedicated to gratitude and togetherness. According to a YouGov study, 22% of Americans consider it unlikely they’ll discuss politics at the table, while 27% have firmly decided against bringing up political topics altogether. Interestingly, a Fox News poll found that while three-quarters of respondents feel comfortable associating with people holding opposing political views, one in five Americans still prefer to completely avoid those with differing perspectives during the holidays. This nuanced reality suggests that most Americans aren’t creating echo chambers but are instead deliberately choosing peace over persuasion for the duration of the holiday.
The shift represents a notable departure from trends just a few years ago. In 2017, the hashtag “#RuinThanksgiving” gained traction on social media, encouraging people to deliberately provoke political debates with relatives during holiday meals. Articles in publications like Teen Vogue highlighted this approach, framing confrontational discussions—including challenging the historical narrative of Thanksgiving itself—as a moral responsibility, particularly for “White people and others in positions of privilege.” Today’s movement away from such tactics suggests a collective reconsideration of how we navigate our deepest differences, especially in settings meant for celebration and connection.
Etiquette expert Alison Cheperdak offers insight into why this change is occurring, explaining that it comes from a place of relationship preservation rather than avoidance. “Over the past few years, families have lived through a pandemic, heated election cycles, and endless online discourse that feels more like combat than conversation,” she notes. “By the time we sit down to Thanksgiving dinner, people are tired of all that—and they want connection, not conflict.” Cheperdak, who founded Elevate Etiquette in Washington, D.C., emphasizes that sidestepping controversial topics doesn’t represent inauthenticity but rather demonstrates respect for the occasion and for others present. This perspective reframes political avoidance not as cowardice but as courtesy—a deliberate choice to honor relationships above ideological differences.
The practical implementation of this approach requires social finesse and preparedness. Cheperdak advises that gracious guests develop gentle pivoting techniques, such as suggesting, “Let’s save that one for after dessert,” or “I’d love to hear your thoughts another time. Tonight I want to enjoy being together.” Hosts, too, play a critical role by setting the tone and steering conversations toward shared experiences, memories, and expressions of gratitude when discussions veer toward divisive territory. Many Americans have embraced this approach with good humor, as evidenced by social media posts that joke about the potential consequences of breaking the unspoken rule: “Remember to bring up politics at Thanksgiving this year to save some money on Christmas gifts,” quipped one woman on X (formerly Twitter).
Perhaps most encouragingly, many families are filling the conversation void not with awkward silences but with meaningful alternatives. Sharing family stories, recounting humorous memories, and expressing appreciation have become popular substitutes for political discourse. One social media user advised, “For Thanksgiving, share memories to stay away from politics,” before recounting a chaotic but cherished memory of cooking a 35-pound farm-raised turkey during a power outage, shuffling it between ovens as electricity flickered on and off. Such stories—funny, authentic, and unifying—remind us that our shared humanity and experiences often transcend our political differences. As Americans gather around tables this holiday season, many are discovering that setting aside political disagreements isn’t about avoiding truth or suppressing authentic expression, but rather about making a conscious choice to focus, if only for one meal, on the connections and blessings that unite rather than divide us.
