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If you think you’re doomed for sleep deprivation, spousal bickering and poverty once your precious arrival is here, well, you could be. Or, you could follow the hard-earned wisdom of tri-state parents to make the transition to parenthood a little — or a lot — easier.
Riding it out
Stephanie Jack, 34, brand marketing director for the infant formula brand ByHeart, wants new NYC parents to know that the ride home from the hospital will be OK.
“As a non-car person in the city, there was a lot of anxiety around how we will get the baby home. Taxi? Rideshare? Walk? How does a car seat even work?” said Jack, who lives in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn. Luckily, she said their family — which now includes daughter Adelaide born in February — were introduced to the Nuna Pipa URBN system (from $700.) It’s a car seat and stroller which makes getting in and out of a rideshare a dream.
“No base installation required, and it hooked in [to the car] in less than one minute, which was fabulous considering the day we left the hospital it was pouring,” shared Jack.
Jack’s second post-parenthood revelation? “Don’t underestimate the stroller walk to rock the baby to sleep. In the early days of postpartum, getting fresh air is a lifesaver.”
Class act
Shira Gelman Kolansky, 31, from Greenpoint, Brooklyn, welcomed her son Atlas in September 2024. While it’s certainly been joy and snuggles for the Magnetic Me senior director of marketing, she’s learned some parenting lessons the hard way.
First: “The lack of sleep shocked me. I’m not sure why — everyone warned me — but I didn’t fully grasp that, for the first two months, you’re up every two hours with a newborn,” said Gelman Kolansky. “What saved me was having help so I could nap — and venting to my friends,” she added.
Secondly, Gelman Kolansky wished someone had told her to take more classes during maternity leave. “The newborn stage can feel so isolating and never-ending, and I regret not going to more classes,” she said, giving a nod to the Canopy, a playspace in Williamsburg, as “a great space for babies” with its indoor playground and baby classes running the gamut from musical Hebrew to baby-and-me yoga.
Tap into a group
Michelle Solomon, 35, from Princeton, NJ, is a stay-at-home mom to five, with her youngest son only a year old.
Prior to parenthood, she regrets not knowing how much fun the mother-baby groups run by the hospitals are. Before you roll your eyes, consider that these programs often serve a dual role purpose.
“In Princeton, Penn Medicine runs Bright Beginnings, and we’d bring the babies for a talk by experts, then all the moms and babies went out to lunch,” said Solomon, the blogger behind Recipes from Michelle. “I made some great new mom friends, and we heard expert talks from pediatricians, baby food specialists, music class teachers, stroller workout, postpartum Pilates instructors and more.”
Check the hospital where you’re delivering to see what classes and support groups are available.Solomon also learned that the whole “it takes a village” motto is onto something.
“I wish I knew that it was OK to accept help. I was hesitant to let my family help with laundry… to hire a cleaning lady… to look for a babysitter,” she recalled. “But moms need help, and I was so glad I did all these things in the end.”
Solomon also urged new moms to “let dads be dads.”
“My husband is an excellent father and even though we parent differently, it’s OK to let him comfort the baby differently than I would and not micromanage,” she said.
Roger that, type A moms?
Everyone is different
Rachel Malone, 40, of Rumson, NJ, welcomed her daughter Devon in January, and offered her perspectives alongside her ByHeart colleague and fellow new mom, Jack.
Perhaps most poignantly, Malone, who is the company’s senior director of product and e-commerce, would have liked to hear that parenting advice isn’t one size fits all.
Some of the most-touted advice didn’t work for her daughter, she said.
“At first I questioned what I was doing wrong; now I’ve learned to take inspiration from outside sources, and then trust my instincts that I know what’s best,” she said.
Malone also encouraged new parents to seek out hyper-local community resources.
“Where I live, there are community-based Facebook groups, a trusted newsletter (shout-out, Monmouth Moms!) and a Newcomer’s Club where I’ve connected with people to look for parenting advice and share tips that have worked for me,” she said.
