The convergence of Christmas and the first night of Hanukkah on December 25th presents a welcome respite for families like the author’s, a blend of Jews and Catholics with deeply ingrained traditions. This rare alignment offers a temporary reprieve from the logistical gymnastics of shuttling between celebrations, streamlining the holiday experience and fostering a sense of unity. The author reflects on her own evolving relationship with religious observance, having been raised Jewish with a subtle discouragement of outward displays of faith. This led to a childhood embracing Christmas traditions, including the cherished annual ritual of selecting and decorating a tree – a practice instilled by her mother, a Jew who herself grew up with a Christmas tree. This intermingling of traditions continued until the author’s marriage to a Jewish man who disapproved of the Christmas customs, prompting a shift towards solely observing Hanukkah.
The transition away from Christmas brought a sense of loss for the author. She missed the simplicity and joy of Christmas morning, the nostalgic comfort of familiar rituals, and the sentimental value attached to ornaments and family traditions. The memories of her father’s shrewd tree-purchasing negotiations, which inadvertently instilled in her a lifelong knack for bargaining, further highlighted the sentimental significance of those early Christmas experiences. The whimsical belief in Santa Claus, despite its logistical improbabilities in a Manhattan apartment building, and the comforting presence of her mother’s handwriting on gift tags, all contributed to a sense of longing for the magic of Christmas. This yearning was further amplified by the reintroduction of Christmas into her life through her father’s and brother’s remarriages to Catholic women. The opportunity to once again decorate trees at their homes, resurrecting her childhood ornaments, rekindled the connection to those cherished family traditions.
A heartwarming evolution occurred within the family dynamics, with the introduction of a Hanukkah teepee at her father’s home, symbolizing a blending of traditions. This innovative approach allowed for a combined celebration, where Hanukkah gifts were piled together, and the lighting of the menorah took place in the presence of the Christmas tree, fostering a spirit of inclusivity and shared joy. Even amidst subsequent life changes, including divorce and remarriage to a Catholic man, the interplay between Christmas and Hanukkah continued to shape the family’s celebrations. Despite her husband’s Catholic background, the author’s own Jewish faith had deepened, leading to a more observant practice. This commitment to Judaism was further reinforced by her children’s Hebrew school education and upcoming bar and bat mitzvahs.
The author’s husband’s willingness to convert to Judaism and embrace her customs demonstrated a remarkable commitment to her beliefs and a desire for religious harmony within their family. However, the presence of Christmas remained through his family, who continued to observe the holiday. This resulted in an expanded holiday itinerary, encompassing celebrations at multiple homes, including her father’s, brother’s, and her husband’s family’s, each with its own unique traditions, culminating in a Hanukkah gathering at their own home. This intricate dance of navigating multiple religious observances during the already demanding holiday season added another layer of complexity to the author’s role as a mother.
The author’s mother, having also remarried a Jewish man, had relinquished her Christmas tree and embraced a more religious lifestyle. This mirrored the author’s own journey towards a stronger Jewish identity, although the generational differences in religious expression remained apparent, symbolized by the mother’s unease with the mezuzah on the author’s door. The rise in antisemitism, a stark reality highlighted by the documentary “October H8te,” with which the author and her husband are associated, has further solidified her commitment to her Jewish heritage. This has manifested in outward displays of her faith, such as wearing a Jewish star necklace, and active engagement with the Jewish community through her writing, speaking engagements, and the creation of a Substack dedicated to Jewish identity. This unforeseen evolution into an accidental activist underscores the profound impact of external events on personal identity and the urgent need to combat prejudice.
The author’s renewed connection to Hanukkah’s significance was poignantly reinforced during a school assembly where the story of the holiday’s origins, the destruction of a synagogue, resonated deeply in light of a recent synagogue burning in Melbourne, Australia. This underscored the holiday’s core message of remembrance and resilience, a message particularly relevant in the face of rising antisemitism. The act of exchanging gifts takes on a new dimension, symbolizing not only celebration but also the enduring strength and unity of the Jewish community. The historical miracle of the Hanukkah story, the rededication of the Second Temple, serves as a powerful reminder of hope and resilience in challenging times, a message that resonates strongly in the present day. The author’s family, a tapestry of Jewish and Christian traditions, exemplifies the possibility of embracing multiple faiths and customs, finding common ground in shared values of family and tradition. The coinciding of Christmas and Hanukkah provides a unique opportunity for a unified celebration, a testament to the family’s ability to navigate the complexities of interfaith dynamics with grace and understanding.
