Horizontal parenting, a term coined by author Michelle Woo, is a parenting approach where parents engage with their children while lying down. This method offers a balance between active participation and much-needed rest for parents, allowing them to connect with their kids without becoming overly exhausted. Brandon Bates, a father from New Jersey, embraces this style, enjoying the bonding experience with his children as they climb over him while he relaxes. While critics online label it as “lazy,” horizontal parenting provides a unique avenue for interaction and creativity. It differs from “sittervising,” which involves distanced supervision, and “benign neglect,” which grants children complete autonomy. Woo emphasizes the mental health benefits for parents and the creative spark it ignites in children.
Woo, a mother of two, developed this technique out of necessity. With a newborn and a young child, she and her husband discovered the joys of engaging with their kids from a reclined position. This experience inspired her to write “Horizontal Parenting: How to Entertain Your Kid While Lying Down,” a collection of 50 activity ideas gathered from friends and online parenting communities. The book, published in 2021, provides a roadmap for parents seeking low-energy, high-engagement activities. Woo highlights the “Gift Wrapping” game as a particularly enjoyable activity, especially during busy holiday seasons. Children wrap random objects while the parent “sleeps,” only to “wake up” and open the gifts, providing entertainment and rest simultaneously.
The Zandstra family, featuring parents Elkey and William, along with their two young children, offer a real-life example of horizontal parenting in action. Their “Car Massage T-shirt” game, which involves drawing a road map on William’s shirt and having the kids drive a massage roller car along his back, became a viral sensation on TikTok. Garnering over 1.4 million views, the video resonated with parents who appreciated the inventive approach to combining play and relaxation. While William attributes the idea to a “lightbulb moment,” the game perfectly encapsulates the essence of horizontal parenting. The children are entertained, and William receives a relaxing massage, demonstrating the mutually beneficial aspect of this parenting style.
William, a stay-at-home dad, has embraced horizontal parenting and continues to develop new games using readily available household materials like cardboard, felt, and paint. He finds that these activities allow him to rest and recharge while engaging with his children. He often incorporates his body into the games, becoming a canvas for “Salon Play” and “Tattoo Parlor,” where the children decorate him with face paint and temporary tattoos. Elkey, William’s wife, praises horizontal parenting for its inclusivity, noting its potential benefits for disabled parents who may have limited mobility. This approach offers a way to connect meaningfully with children regardless of physical limitations.
Bates values the lasting memories created through horizontal parenting, emphasizing the unique bonding experiences it provides. He believes these moments of connection will remain cherished memories for his children as they grow older. The simple act of spending time together, even while lying down, builds strong parent-child relationships. This focus on quality time fosters a sense of closeness and shared experience, creating lasting memories for both parents and children.
Several examples of horizontal parenting activities illustrate the versatility and simplicity of this approach. “How Tall Am I?” involves children estimating their parent’s height using household items, combining math skills with playful interaction. “Hide and Seek-ish” reverses the traditional roles, with the parent guessing the children’s hiding spots while remaining stationary. “Crime Scene” transforms the parent’s body into a mock crime scene, encouraging imaginative play and problem-solving. Finally, “Ninja Walk” challenges children to move silently past their parent, testing their stealth and control. These activities showcase the potential for fun and engagement while maintaining a relaxed atmosphere for the parent. They highlight the core principle of horizontal parenting: connecting with children in a way that benefits everyone involved.
