The Growing Gender Divide: How Some Boys Are Drifting Away from Equality
In an age where progress toward gender equality seemed inevitable, a concerning trend has emerged among young men. What started as a viral TikTok has sparked important conversations about the shifting attitudes of boys toward women’s rights and opportunities. Creator Livi Rae candidly asked parents of boys, “What the hell is going on with your sons?” referring to research showing a decline in support for gender equality among young males. Her question wasn’t mere provocation but a response to data showing that boys’ attitudes about women’s opportunities had “fallen off a cliff.”
This isn’t just an American phenomenon. Australian analysis of the HILDA survey reveals that Gen Z men (those aged 13-28) are increasingly embracing traditional gender roles, even as their female peers move in the opposite direction. Economist Erin Clarke from the e61 Institute found that young men born between 1997 and 2012 are more likely to agree with statements like “men should earn the money while women care for the kids” than previous generations. Similarly in the United States, data from the Monitoring the Future study showed a dramatic drop in support for equal job opportunities among 8th and 10th grade boys—from 63 percent in 2018 to just 45 percent in 2023. These aren’t isolated incidents but rather part of a broader pattern suggesting that while girls are advancing toward equality, many boys are quietly retreating to more conservative views.
The digital landscape plays a crucial role in this shift. When boys suddenly start questioning the gender pay gap or dismissing feminism, they’re likely encountering these ideas through what experts call the “manosphere”—a network of online influencers, podcasts, and social media content that targets young males. Figures like Andrew Tate have built empires promoting narratives that undermine women’s autonomy and blame them for men’s problems. Researchers compare the progression into this ecosystem to a radicalization process: it begins innocuously with memes or jokes before algorithms gradually introduce more extreme content until misogynistic perspectives feel normal. The most troubling aspect is that most young people aren’t actively seeking this content—it’s finding them through recommendation systems designed to maximize engagement regardless of the social consequences.
Child safety expert Kristi McVee, drawing on her decade of experience in the Western Australia Police Force, warns that “the algorithm isn’t neutral. It is persuasive, addictive and designed to shape and control beliefs. If we are not guiding them, the algorithm will.” She emphasizes that parents must take an active role in understanding their children’s digital experiences rather than leaving their development to chance. Her approach focuses on building communication rather than simply restricting access. She recommends making conversations about online content a normal part of family life by asking children about who they follow and what they find entertaining or thought-provoking. Sitting down to scroll through social media together can reveal concerning patterns like dehumanizing humor or subtle recruitment into harmful ideologies.
McVee advocates for a multilayered approach to digital safety that combines technical solutions with ongoing dialogue. While parental controls and content filters are important tools, they cannot replace meaningful conversations about the media children consume. She suggests framing these protective measures as safeguards rather than punishments, working collaboratively with children to create a healthier online environment. Beyond protection, parents should equip their children with critical thinking skills—teaching them to question persuasion techniques, examine motives, and analyze content rather than passively absorbing it. Perhaps most importantly, McVee encourages parents to approach these discussions with genuine curiosity, allowing children to share their digital experiences without judgment and fostering connections that help parents stay relevant in their children’s increasingly complex world.
The implications of this trend extend far beyond abstract concerns about attitudes. The documented decline in support for gender equality among young men threatens to shape not only the opportunities available to women and girls but also the development and wellbeing of boys themselves. This isn’t about imposing any particular political viewpoint but rather about raising children who can think critically about the messages they receive and treat others with dignity and respect. The challenge for parents isn’t to control every aspect of their children’s digital consumption—an impossible task in today’s connected world—but to provide guidance, context, and alternative perspectives that help counterbalance harmful narratives they may encounter online.
As we navigate this changing landscape, the goal isn’t to raise “perfect feminists” but to nurture thoughtful, respectful individuals who can recognize manipulation and value equality. While the internet’s persuasive algorithms may be powerful, meaningful parent-child relationships and honest conversations provide even stronger foundations. By staying engaged with our children’s digital lives and helping them develop the skills to evaluate the content they consume, we can plant seeds that will help young people grow into adults who see equality not as a threat but as a foundation for a healthier society. As McVee reminds us, the internet is designed to shape beliefs—but with guidance, curiosity, and open communication, parents can have an even more profound influence on their children’s values and worldview.
