Martha Stewart’s Guide to Graceful Aging and Living Well at 84

At 84 years old, Martha Stewart continues to defy conventional expectations about aging, maintaining her status as a lifestyle icon while remaining physically active and deeply engaged in her businesses and creative pursuits. In a recent episode of the podcast “50 & Unfiltered,” Stewart spoke candidly with her longtime friend and QVC host Shawn Killinger about her philosophy on aging well, wellness, resilience, and purposeful living. Rather than viewing aging as an inevitable decline, Stewart approaches it as a discipline—a commitment to consistent self-care and maintenance. “I have this theory that if one takes care of oneself really well and follows strict but not life-threatening kinds of disciplines, one can look good, feel good and be good for a whole life,” she explained. This perspective has guided her away from plastic surgery, though she respects others’ choices to pursue it. Stewart shared a touching story about her mother, who at 85 sought Stewart’s help for a facelift. The surgeon told her mother, “You’re a beautiful woman. I can’t make you look younger, but I can make you look better.” While Stewart herself opts for minimal interventions—mentioning only a quarterly facial wax—she acknowledges that maintaining her appearance requires ongoing effort: “I’m 84 years old… and I’m trying so hard to look really good.”

Central to Stewart’s approach to aging is her unwavering commitment to staying busy, curious, and productive. The lifestyle maven credits her parents for instilling in her and her siblings the importance of being “really, really proactively busy and learning stuff.” This early influence shaped her life philosophy, which includes the motto “Learn something new every day.” Stewart embraces her packed schedule, explaining, “I like to work, and I like to learn, and I like to go places, and I like to be busy. I like to be productive.” When asked if she ever experiences fatigue, she admitted she does but doesn’t allow it to derail her: “I was sick for a week, but I had to keep working. I can never take off.” This relentless drive helps keep her sharp and engaged well into her ninth decade, demonstrating the powerful connection between mental stimulation and healthy aging.

Stewart firmly rejects the notion of “reinventing” herself, preferring instead to view life as a process of natural evolution. One of her best-known sayings is “When you’re through changing, you’re through,” yet she makes an important distinction: “Everybody says, ‘Oh, you’re reinventing yourself.’ I’m not reinventing.” For Stewart, reinvention implies a complete transformation, which she doesn’t believe is truly possible or necessary. “To reinvent means total change—but you can’t,” she explained. “I’m not changing my bodily shape or anything, except to get better, hopefully.” This philosophy extends to all aspects of her life—from her appearance to her daily habits and career pursuits. Rather than dramatic overhauls, Stewart advocates for gradual improvements and adaptations that honor who you fundamentally are while allowing for growth and refinement.

Resilience and self-acceptance form the foundation of Stewart’s approach to life’s challenges. Having weathered personal and professional storms—including her highly publicized legal troubles and imprisonment—she credits her toughness for her ability to persevere. “I think I’ve always been tough,” she reflected during the podcast. “I’ve lived through it all. You can’t be sensitive.” This mental fortitude has allowed her to bounce back from setbacks that might have derailed others. Importantly, Stewart distinguishes between seeking happiness and finding peace with oneself, stating simply, “I’m happy with myself.” This self-acceptance doesn’t mean complacency—Stewart continues to strive for improvement—but it does reflect a fundamental comfort with who she is. Her resilience demonstrates that developing emotional toughness can be as important as physical health when it comes to aging well.

As Stewart enters her mid-80s, her priorities have naturally shifted toward family and maintaining physical capabilities that allow her to enjoy life fully. Despite having “pretty much everything she needs” materially, she expressed a desire to spend more time with her loved ones. Stewart also emphasized the importance of staying physically able to participate in demanding activities like hiking, horseback riding, and rafting—all of which she planned to do during an upcoming family trip to Utah. This focus on physical capability rather than mere longevity reflects a quality-over-quantity approach to aging. For Stewart, the measure of successful aging isn’t just about adding years to life but ensuring those years are filled with meaningful activities and connections. Her active lifestyle serves as powerful evidence that chronological age need not dictate one’s capabilities or enjoyment.

Perhaps most striking is Stewart’s practical and fearless approach to mortality—a subject many avoid discussing. When the conversation turned to end-of-life plans, she surprised Killinger by stating, “I’m going to be composted.” Explaining her preference, Stewart described how she buries her beloved horses on her property: “We dig a giant hole really deep in one of my fields. We have a pet cemetery, and the horse is wrapped in a thin white linen sheet and is very carefully dropped down into this giant, lovely grave. I want to go there.” When questioned about whether such arrangements are permitted, Stewart responded with characteristic pragmatism: “It’s not going to hurt anybody. It’s my property.” She added that traditional burial procedures, such as coffins and tombstones, hold no appeal for her. This matter-of-fact attitude toward death reflects Stewart’s lifelong practicality and connection to nature, offering a refreshingly honest perspective on a universal experience that many find difficult to confront.