Where Hot Guys Eat IRL: A Fresh Approach to NYC Dating

In a city where dating apps have become increasingly tiresome, 33-year-old Upper East Side resident Alyssa La Spisa has created something of a dating revolution. Her viral social media series “Where Hot Guys Eat IRL” has captured the attention of thousands of New Yorkers seeking meaningful connections beyond the digital world. The concept is refreshingly simple: La Spisa approaches attractive men on the streets of New York City, interviews them about their favorite restaurants and bars, and shares these insights with her rapidly growing audience. For many love-hungry Gothamites, these videos have become treasure maps to the city’s most eligible bachelors, offering a welcome alternative to endless swiping. “Everyone’s yearning for that in-person connection these days,” explains La Spisa, who describes herself as equally exhausted by dating apps. Her motivation comes from a genuine desire to foster real connections: “If I can help introduce someone to someone else, or even just encourage people to go out and try one of these spots with their friends—that’s great.”

The origins of La Spisa’s popular series date back to 2022, when she found herself sitting in Jack & Charlie’s No. 118 in the West Village, watching New York City slowly emerge from the pandemic. Struck by the attractive crowd around her, she sensed a collective desire for in-person social interaction after years of isolation. This observation inspired her original series “Where Hot Guys Eat,” which highlighted restaurants known for their good-looking patrons. The current iteration evolved when La Spisa decided to “go straight to the source” and directly interview the attractive men she encountered. Describing her approach as “a combo of ‘Chicken Shop Date’ and ‘Topjaw,'” La Spisa has created content that resonates deeply with viewers seeking authentic connections. Her following has skyrocketed to over 76,000 on Instagram (@the_recommendista) and 42,500 on TikTok, with each brief video amassing thousands of views and generating enthusiastic responses from viewers eager to visit these hotspots themselves.

The success of “Where Hot Guys Eat IRL” speaks to a broader cultural shift away from digital dating and back toward organic, face-to-face encounters. Marisa Simone, a 33-year-old political advertising professional who follows La Spisa’s account, appreciates the lighthearted approach and practical information: “It’s pretty light-hearted and gives you ideas on where single guys hang out.” Inspired by La Spisa’s recommendations, Simone visited Port Sa’id in Hudson Square and confirmed that she and her friends were “definitely” treated to a “smorgasbord of sexy guys.” This renewed interest in real-life connections is also evident in platforms like LooksMapping, which rates nearly 10,000 New York restaurants based on the attractiveness of their clientele. The phenomenon suggests that despite the convenience of dating apps, many New Yorkers still crave the spontaneity and authenticity of meeting someone in person, perhaps over a meal at a trendy restaurant like Carbone, which earned a sizzling 9.7 out of 10 on the hotness scale.

For the men featured in La Spisa’s videos, participation has yielded varied results. Hank Hoover, a 33-year-old content creator who runs the account @coffeewithhank, experienced a noticeable boost in social media following and went on “two or three dates that I otherwise would not have gone on.” Eron Lutterman, a 26-year-old managing director at a brand design company, received several direct messages after his appearance but wasn’t actively seeking romantic connections at the time. Charles Hsu, a 24-year-old actor and comedian from the Upper West Side, proudly embraced being labeled a “hot guy” and, though still waiting for his dating windfall, promised to “continue to try to be as hot and eat as much as I can.” The impact extends beyond the featured individuals to the establishments they recommend. Naama Tamir, co-owner of East Williamsburg’s Lighthouse, which Lutterman mentioned as a favorite post-work happy hour spot, reported a noticeable influx of young female patrons following the September shout-out, demonstrating the real economic impact of La Spisa’s content.

While La Spisa doesn’t formally track the romantic success rates stemming from her videos, she finds the overall response to her project “gratifying.” She occasionally receives updates from featured men who report receiving numerous direct messages or going on dates as a result of their appearances. However, the true value of her work lies not in facilitating specific matches but in addressing a broader cultural need. “I think the fact that it gets such a great response, especially with a ton of women DMing the guys or just replying to the comments—it speaks to a need of people to meet in real life,” La Spisa reflects. In a dating landscape often characterized by superficial interactions and digital fatigue, her series offers a refreshing reminder of the joy and potential of organic connections formed over shared meals in the vibrant restaurants of New York City.

The popularity of “Where Hot Guys Eat IRL” reveals something significant about contemporary dating culture: despite technological advances meant to simplify finding love, many people still value the charm and authenticity of chance encounters. La Spisa has tapped into this sentiment, creating content that serves as both entertainment and a practical resource for those looking to expand their dating horizons beyond apps. Her approach acknowledges that while we may live in an increasingly digital world, the desire for genuine human connection remains unchanged. By mapping out where attractive, interesting people gather in New York City, she’s helping her followers take concrete steps toward creating their own serendipitous moments. As dating app fatigue continues to spread, La Spisa’s analog approach to meeting people—centered around the shared experience of enjoying good food in great company—offers a promising alternative that resonates with thousands of New Yorkers hungry for more than just their next meal.