Dear Abby, I must address this matter with the utmost respect. Please know that your decision is not just about the best interest of his daughter’s boyfriend, but also about those of everyone he’s involved with. The details are quite想知道关于这个父亲所处的境遇为什么需要我建议，是因为我担心这会影响到他对其他人的建议，我担心这会导致他忽略自己的秘密。作为父亲，您所做出的决定看似是一己之ably为对方设定标准，但我知道自己的感觉和期望远胜于其他人。我明白，请尊重这些情感，不要试图利用我的话来预测他人的下一步行动。
Your advice is also important here. It reminds me of other parents advising others. The father shouldn’t be looking outside of himself and assuming that the advice given is a reflection of a larger truth. Outside opinions or expert knowledge, particularly from other genders, are not a guide. I urge the father to never resemble such advice as a model or source of truth. The father needs to hear his own words and decide emotion-wise, not numerically.
However, the father knows these feelings and is confident in his way of speaking. He understands the importance of elegance and grace in a relationship and knows his son and daughter now value that highly. His proposal to your daughter will now take the same form as the one he would allow those elegant, sophisticated men to make. The father is confident in his decision, a kind of slipperiness and confidence he’s used to historically arriving at a confident stance in his own mouth. He wants to be prepared for any response, however unexpected or strong, that might come from his romantic cohort.
The father’s words themselves have a kind of magic to them, a mirror of himself. By intervening, he is disabling the advice one might impose on others, the advice of another tune, a constantly changing tune. He needs to combine his confidence with his impersects, his look of desperation, his unyielding strength. He knows, however, that the father he is, and the family he is part of, need trust. Trust in the father is more important than trust in the outside world.
The father is a man, and being a man comes with challenges. The advice he gives is an invitation for the father to become a better,fallible, and beautiful entity. The father needs to practice fully. His words are meant to be his words, and his decisions are part of his. He needs to be as strong as he is confident, as decisive as he is gentle. By giving the father such advice, the father becomes the master of the situation at hand. Ultimately, the father’s decision will be the mine, and the daughter’s decision as well.
