Here’s the condensed version summarizing the content into six paragraphs, highlighting the challenges Abby faces and the proposed solutions:
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Dear Abby: I’m a 19-year-old guy and live with my parents. We have this neighbor, “Ed,” who, until recently, was friends with my dad. We’ve hung out with him several times and have even gone over to each other’s houses to watch sports games and eat dinner. The problem is, Ed has become very overbearing and strange. He has always been a little off the wall, which, at first, we both found hilarious. But since then, his foul language and vulgarities have rubbed us the wrong way. He’s disrespectful to his wife and son, which I know isn’t my business, but Dad and I are over it. Lately, Ed has been constantly calling and texting my dad. Now he has started texting me asking why my father isn’t responding. I don’t know how he got my number. Last month, Ed walked into our house through our sliding glass door while I was home alone watching TV.
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Dear Abby: My 25-year-old niece is getting married in four months. Five years ago, she lost her father in a tragic accident while her parents were on vacation. Since that time, she has come out as gay and grown closer to me than to her mom (my sister). I was always close to my sister and both of her daughters while they were growing up and helped out financially when times were tough. My sister recently remarried and plans to move to another state with her new husband prior to the wedding.
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Dear Abby: My 25-year-old niece has asked me to walk her down the aisle along with my sister. My sister said it’s disrespectful to her since she is the mother. I don’t want to hurt my sister or my niece. My niece says it’s both of us or neither one. (There are no grandparents.)
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Dear Abby: I told her I want to sit with my husband for the wedding and that her mom should walk her down the aisle. The other bride’s parents will be walking their daughter down the aisle. I know it’s my niece’s wedding and she should have what she wants, but I feel stuck in the middle. Any suggestions? – TORN IN TWO IN MASSACHUSETTS
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Dear Abby: I do have one. You have already told your niece you would prefer to sit with your husband rather than cause resentment from your sister.
Your niece feels strongly about having you walk with her, and it is her wedding. You might suggest walking her halfway down the aisle and then handing her off to her mother. But leave the final decision where it belongs — which is with the bride.
Dear Abby: I tell her I’ve already convinced everyone that I get Ed or she gets me. (But she asked me to walk in the front if she gets mine.)
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Abby: It’s a very important issue. I need to thank her for asking, because I really want to help her. I believe that respecting autonomy and dignity is essential. It’s important to validate what she needs and give her space. I’d love to have her complete the cupcake while Abby can share her feelings or our new love story.
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Dear Abby: The key is to honor her choice while giving her the space to express herself. Whatever UPS comes to mind, save it for times when she’s ready. I need to protect her emotions without making decisions. If her husband asks me where to go, it’s up to her, not me.
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Abby: So, in this case, ed is going to handle it. I understand if a cupcake doesn’t finish for her, she gets me a gift — maybe a favorite CD or a coloring book. She gets to dance with her husband or sit with her mother. It’s important to show her her true self without me trying to mold her.
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Dear Abby: I’ve learned that killing a pie isn’t the right decision. It’s better to honor her choice and allow her to express herself. I can’t change who she is or which sides she’s on. I just want to give her the space to create for herself and not to sugar-coat her feelings.
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Abby: Thanks for being an example of a woman who respects herself and her choices. Her words resonate with me now. I believe that every relationship has an “order” to it, and I strive to find that order in every situation. If you ask her, I’d love to talk more about what’s really best for her.
