Penn Badgley and Domino Kirke’s Journey Through Loss to a Family of Five

Penn Badgley, the 39-year-old actor known for his role in “You,” recently opened up about the profound struggles he and his wife Domino Kirke faced on their path to parenthood. During a heartfelt appearance on the “Totally Booked With Zibby” podcast, Badgley revealed that the couple nearly separated after experiencing two consecutive miscarriages before welcoming their children. “Especially for us, me at that point, not having any biological children, my wife having her firstborn… that was a real inflection point,” Badgley shared candidly. “We did near a separation. And of course, we didn’t give into the gravity of that.” These raw admissions highlight the often-unspoken emotional toll that pregnancy loss takes on relationships, even for couples in the public eye. The actor’s willingness to discuss such intimate challenges offers a glimpse into the reality that fame doesn’t insulate anyone from life’s most painful experiences.

In his recently released essay collection, “Crushmore: Essays on Love, Loss, and Coming-of-Age,” Badgley delves deeper into the couple’s pregnancy losses, writing about the isolation they felt during this difficult period. “This was our second loss together, a time when I did not feel as though the cycle would break,” he wrote. “My wife and I neared separation, as many do after losses like that, largely because we felt so isolated in a culture that doesn’t talk much about these things or know how to support those going through it.” The actor describes the haunting memory of seeing “our still baby in that tripped-out black and white sono imagery” as something he “can’t shake every time we go for a sonogram now.” These vulnerable reflections were penned before the birth of the couple’s twins earlier this year, with Badgley noting during his podcast interview how different his perspective is now: “And now I feel like I am, I mean this with love, but I feel like I’m drowning in children. So it’s harder to get in touch with that feeling of loss. Because my cup truly runneth over.”

Kirke, now 41, has been equally open about their journey through pregnancy loss. When announcing her pregnancy with their first son in 2020, she shared, “On the road again… pregnancy after loss is a whole other thing. After two miscarriages in a row, we were ready to call it. I stopped trusting my body and started to accept the fact that I was done.” Her perspective as a birth attendant gave her unique insight into the experience, yet she acknowledged that professional knowledge doesn’t lessen personal grief. “As a birth attendant, I’ve seen and heard it all. It takes everything I’ve got to detach lovingly from the losses I’ve been present for and be in my own experience,” she wrote. This honest portrayal of her emotional journey resonated with many who have experienced similar losses, bringing visibility to the complex emotions of pregnancy after miscarriage—the cautious hope mixed with lingering fear.

The couple’s story has evolved dramatically since they first met in 2014, when Kirke’s son Cassius from her previous relationship with Morgan O’Kane was just five years old. After tying the knot in 2017, they weathered the storms of pregnancy losses together before welcoming their son in August 2020, followed by twins earlier this year. This blended family of five represents not just their perseverance through heartbreak, but also Badgley’s embrace of his role as both biological father and stepfather. During a recent appearance on the “Not Skinny But Not Fat” podcast, he reflected on his relationship with Cassius, now 16, with good humor: “Any real parent figure is always going to be cringe to some degree, definitely. But, I think there’s also—I am who I am, and I am not the most uncool stepparent you can have.” This lighthearted acknowledgment of the inherent awkwardness in step-parenting reveals Badgley’s authentic approach to family life.

Kirke’s personal growth through these experiences shines through in her reflections on motherhood. Comparing her first pregnancy at age 25 with her later journey, she noted, “When I was pregnant at 25, I knew nothing. I had no community. I dove in blissfully unaware about birth and its mysteries. Now, with 10 years worth of experience to pull from, I treasure my birth community and the knowledge I have.” This evolution from a young, isolated mother to a woman surrounded by knowledge and support demonstrates how life’s challenges can lead to deeper connections and wisdom. In addressing her unborn child during her 2020 pregnancy announcement, she added, “You’re already teaching us how to stay in the day in a way we’ve never had to, little one,” highlighting how the experience of pregnancy after loss taught the couple to appreciate each moment rather than taking the journey for granted.

The Badgley-Kirke family’s story ultimately serves as a powerful reminder of the resilience of the human spirit and the capacity to find joy after heartbreak. From nearly separating after consecutive miscarriages to now parenting three young children together, their journey illustrates how life can unfold in unexpected ways. While Badgley jokingly describes feeling like he’s “drowning in children,” his words carry the unmistakable tone of gratitude—a man who once feared he might never experience biological fatherhood now surrounded by a bustling family. The couple’s willingness to share their struggles publicly helps normalize conversations about miscarriage and family-building challenges, potentially easing the isolation felt by others facing similar situations. Their story reminds us that behind celebrity images lie human experiences of love, loss, and the messy, beautiful process of creating a family.