Finding Strength in Faith and Partnership: Reflections on Erika Kirk’s Eulogy
Erika Kirk’s eulogy for her husband Charlie revealed an extraordinary depth of character in the face of devastating loss. Speaking with remarkable courage at his funeral service, she not only forgave her husband’s killer but also announced her intention to step into his role as CEO of his organization. Despite her grief, she seized the moment to address the nation, calling on men to “embrace true manhood, be strong and courageous for your families, love your wives and lead them,” while encouraging women to be their husband’s “helper” – though she firmly reminded men to ensure they were worthy of being followed. In our modern era, where nearly 60% of women participate in the workforce, Erika’s traditional vision of marriage might seem like a regression to some. Yet surprisingly, her words resonated as empowering and revelatory, offering a counterpoint to contemporary exhaustion and isolation.
For many women today, the pressure to “do it all” has become overwhelming. There exists a deep, often unacknowledged hunger for committed partnerships and sacred bonds that transcend mere contractual arrangements. Growing up in secular San Francisco, I rarely heard marriage discussed in religious terms. My understanding was that marriage meant equality – partners sharing household responsibilities equally. I viewed the Christian concept of marriage as outdated and sexist, incompatible with modern family needs. In my younger years, the dichotomy seemed simple: traditional marriage was regressive, while modern marriage represented progress. Biblical guidance for spousal relationships would never have occurred to me as a resource. Yet when hearing Erika Kirk’s words, they unexpectedly moved me to tears, speaking to something many people feel but rarely articulate.
The biblical concept of marriage, whether viewed through Christian or Jewish tradition, carries profound wisdom that still resonates today. After hearing Erika speak, I purchased two Bibles, having not read from one since my bat mitzvah. The biblical story of Adam and Eve describes woman as man’s “helper,” stating “It is not good that man be alone; I will make him a helper corresponding to him” and “A man shall leave his father and his mother and cling to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” While the term “helper” draws criticism for potentially diminishing women’s status, Erika articulated a more nuanced understanding: “Your wife is not your servant. Your wife is not your employee. Your wife is not your slave. She is your helper. You are not rivals. You are one flesh working together for the glory of God.” Many rabbis note that the Hebrew word for “helper” – “ezer” – is also used to describe God in the Psalms, suggesting a divine-like support rather than subordination.
In our society’s ongoing debates about gender identity and roles, this view offers something grounding and clarifying. It presents a vision of marriage as a complementary partnership where man and woman function as “one flesh,” accomplishing more together than either could alone. The wife as a “divine helper” and the husband as protector and provider creates a framework of mutual support that seems increasingly appealing in our fractured world. This perspective doesn’t diminish either partner but recognizes their unique contributions to a shared life. Rather than seeing these roles as restrictive, they can be viewed as providing clarity and purpose in a relationship.
Growing up immersed in feminist culture, I was taught to pursue career ambitions, change the world, and never depend on a man. Feminism promised freedom, but for many women, the result has been isolation. Generation Z is projected to have the lowest marriage and childbirth rates in American history – a trend Charlie Kirk actively fought against. He believed, following biblical teaching, that marriage could counteract loneliness, mental health struggles, and spiritual emptiness. Charlie understood that human beings benefit from companionship and support. As Erika revealed during the service, Charlie wrote her a love note every Saturday, always ending with, “How can I better serve you as a husband?” This ritual of expressing gratitude and devotion demonstrates how service to one’s spouse can strengthen rather than diminish a relationship.
In certain secular circles, concepts like devotion and service have become almost taboo. Yet today, I see their value more clearly than ever. Moreover, these ideals aren’t necessarily at odds with feminist principles. Erika herself is highly accomplished – educated, entrepreneurial, a podcaster and political influencer who now assumes leadership of a nationwide organization. What she and Charlie advocated was a marriage of mutual devotion and service – a vision that doesn’t preclude professional success but potentially enhances it. Together, they were stronger, embodying the belief that isolation is not our natural state. Their relationship reminds us that we all need help and helpers, both divine and human, to navigate life’s challenges. In a world increasingly characterized by disconnection, this message of partnership, purpose, and mutual support offers a compelling alternative that might speak to more people than we realize.
